| .20 |
[11 May 2012|06:30pm] |
Wait, so vegetarians are actually real?
Also I stepped on a flier and tracked it all over the Ministry, apparently. Thanks for telling me, assholes.
( Warded to Beth Ketteridge )
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| .19 |
[04 May 2012|10:19am] |
[ Warded to Rufus Scrimgeour ]
Your brother's not here and he didn't floo-call in. Did he stay out too late with his fern?
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Brutus Scrimgeour ]
Wakey, wakey, Scrim. You there?
[ /Ward ]
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| .18 |
[01 May 2012|08:31pm] |
[ Warded to Beth ]
So guess what I did today.
[ /Ward ]
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| .17 |
[24 Apr 2012|08:10pm] |
[ Warded Private ]
So this is what happens when you're waist-deep in the Dark Arts. Better Abercrombie than one of us; he was the perfect subject from the beginning. Didn't run too hot. I needed that control to see the exaggerations of the effects, the subtle warping of personality and inclination.
He's drawing attention. I'm sure those that worry will seek correction, which is troublesome, but I've never been interested in an isolated experiment. The world will never be unalloyed no matter how much the fanatics seek to cleanse it. There will always be muggles, squibs, concerned friends, contagions. Imperfections. To run such an experiment as this in a perfect world would lend itself to false hopes and expectations. Minor adjustments would be needed.
And now we see how far Brocklehurst can be bent around my finger. How long Abercrombie can take these spells before he's a stranger on the street, unrecognizable.
At the very least if my hypotheses proves correct, I can present the Dark Lord the theory that those of pure stock should seek to do extensive Unforgivables via a third-party lest they wish to suffer compounded personal effects.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Unspeakables ]
Your enthusiasm to help Auror Moody with his eye was actually somewhat cute.
Good work. I'd ask that we go out for drinks to celebrate teamwork but I don't want to stereotype myself.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Beth ]
So I understand you made enemies with a rain storm, this morning.
[ /Ward ]
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| .16 |
[11 Apr 2012|07:55pm] |
[ Warded to Death Eaters ]
REPORT.
[ /Ward ]
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| .15 |
[10 Apr 2012|06:26pm] |
Bilius Weasley, you little shit.
For future reference - if I wanted to hurt you, I'd punch you in the face. I wouldn't weaponize your idiocy by worsening it with a scrambling curse.
The next time you want to point the finger, don't do it at me just because you think I don't like you. I mean, I don't. At all. But I'm pretty sure that's a perfectly reasonable reaction to you setting fire to my sister and then verbally harassing my girlfriend. If you find out who did it, let me know. I'm going to send them a fucking fruit basket.
DMLE Types - this isn't aimed at you. I don't blame you for doing your job. Just wish halfwits like this didn't waste your time.
[ Warded to Death Eaters ]
So who did it? Do we even know? I about had a heart attack when the DMLE showed up in my office. Lucky thing I wasn't actually doing anything off-colour the days in question, but I'd like some heads-up the next time one of you get an itch to blast idiots that could whinny my way.
[ /Ward ]
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| .14 |
[02 Apr 2012|07:58pm] |
Ah, April 2nd. The day you realise just how underrated normalcy is.
[ Warded to Fiona ]
Wards are back.
[ /Ward ]
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| .13 |
[26 Mar 2012|11:00pm] |
[ Warded to Unspeakables, minus Dedalus Diggle ]
All right assholes, take a look.
( Wave your wand. )
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Beth ]
You will not believe what I spent my afternoon doing.
[ /Ward ]
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| .12 |
[23 Mar 2012|12:07pm] |
[ Warded to Unspeakables, save Dedalus Diggle ]
I'm taking up a collection for Diggle. Flower-money, food, whatever-the-hell is appropriate in a time like this. Use this space as a thinking-space.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Dedalus Diggle ]
Here if you need us.
[ /Ward ]
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| 11. |
[20 Mar 2012|10:02pm] |
[ Warded to Beth ]
Hey sweetheart.
I've got two things for you.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Fiona ]
What are you doing tomorrow night?
[ /Ward ]
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| .10 |
[17 Mar 2012|08:02pm] |
[ Warded Private ]
I've got to show myself outside sometime, today - this holiday was made for my Other. The mask feels thin, though - I'm growing tired of labyrinths. A few shallow victories and I'm already impatient for the end. I blame Elizabeth - it was easier getting by without sentimental attachment before, though I'd not change it even now that I've learned better. I don't flatter myself that I could do PR for our side at length, but isn't it interesting to think of? A debate, maybe. I'd like to see their salt. There's more to them than dick jokes, else we'd slit the last of their throats months ago.
Unless they're recruiting.
Those posters remain troubling. Could the Order be their own promoter? Possible.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to the Inner Circle ]
Love and hate, gentlemen. I may be reworking my mother Department. Abercrombie's up to his neck and I want answers on his experiments. Permission to work my way into the Records? He's a game test subject but I want firm data.
Also. What say you to the possibility of a live debate with the Order of the Phoenix? These dueling broadcasts appeal to my romantic side.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Elizabeth Ketteridge ]
Are you wearing green?
[ /Ward ]
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| .09 |
[11 Mar 2012|06:09pm] |
I didn't go out drinking last night.
"But Augustus", you may cry, "Whatever is the matter? Are you ill? Have you been polyjuiced by a member of the Temperance Union?"
And I will answer: "No, never that! But today is Elizabeth Ketteridge's birthday, and I decided that she'd seen enough of my hungover arse on Sundays."
So happy birthday, Elizabeth. Your voice doesn't hurt me when you talk and I'm not even wearing sunglasses. I don't think I've ever seen a Sunday so clearly before. We've got dinner planned tonight; wear something fancy that'll make me look like the hired help. We're going out all posh and precious.
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| .08 |
[05 Mar 2012|09:41pm] |
[ Warded to Kent Abercrombie ]
She likes lilacs. I like scotch.
[ /Ward ]
Oy, Scrimgeour, Dawlish, all assorted tight sphincters that I've managed to ally myself with - how 'bout one last hurrah before we lead up into the next Full Moon, yeah? I'm a very pretty date.
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| .07 |
[18 Feb 2012|05:11pm] |
[ Warded to Fiona + Mundungus ]
You know, I haven't been entirely fair to either of you. Next weekend - let's us three go out, have a few drinks, that sort of thing.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded Private ]
Friends close. Enemies closer. Fletcher closer still.
Tomorrow - keep it clean. See to it the others do the same. The Order may be a laughingstock, but the Knights of Walpurgis will always laugh last.
[ /Ward ]
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[15 Feb 2012|01:05pm] |
[ Warded to John Dawlish ]
Happy birthday, Ugly. I owe you a pint.
So tell me how you really feel about the wedding I'm not supposed to know about.
[ /Ward ]
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| .05 |
[27 Jan 2012|03:02pm] |
The next person who sneezes near the Department of Mysteries will unravel the Mystery of Being Buried Alive inside a Box with No Air Holes. Fucking sick people.
( Warded Private )
[ Warded to Elizabeth Ketteridge ]
You are going to force me to go to the opera. I will grumble and groan and be slightly embarrassing. You will have managed to get us a personal box seat because you were in Slytherin with one of the stage-managers. We will have a small fight about this disastrous evening, and I will make it up with you with a necklace of black pearls.
The fact that I purchased the tickets myself is irrelevant. Let me know when you're free to go shopping and we'll put on a show next week.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Edward Rifle ]
Hey, mate! You recovered, yet? Found this new pub in Brighton - June & Lyon's. Makes a damn good Black Velvet - richest champagne in the world mixed with the filthiest Guinness. You ever decide to stick your nose in a pint instead of someone else's business, you name the date and time and I'll be there with bells.
[ /Ward ]
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| .04 |
[25 Jan 2012|08:41pm] |
[ Warded to Fiona ]
I saw you speaking with Victor Ketteridge, today. Don't think I need to suggest to keep the coffin-play at a minimum, lest you'd like to join him in one. Never know what the Death Eaters will do, after all.
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Elizabeth ]
I love you?
[ /Ward ]
I'm at the Leaky and they're playing the wireless thing now. Sort of creepy, really.
|
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| .03 |
[17 Jan 2012|10:13pm] |
|
By the hirsute cleavage of Queen Victoria! I simply cannot decide whether I shall drink my tea from a pink teacup today or from the yellow teacup! I shall have to consult with the servants. SERVANTS.
|
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| .02 |
[05 Jan 2012|08:23pm] |
OKAY OKAY the Unforgivables are historic or whatever; can we bleeding move ON already?
Christ you people; it's like a copying charm. Over and OVER and OVER... No one cares.
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| .01 |
[01 Jan 2012|02:08pm] |
Merlin's saggy ballsack; some of us are trying to nurse a hangover, here. Can you lot keep it down? Nothing on the wireless can be that interesting.
Fiona, egg rolls. Now.
[ Warded to Death Eaters ]
Never figured ducking to be such an essential Death Eater skill. Huh. Reckon our lads and ladies in white and gold'll actually grow a pair and cast them?
[ /Ward ]
[ Warded to Elizabeth Ketteridge ]
I do believe you're more beautiful in 1981 than 1980.
Like that one? I thought about it.
[ /Ward ]
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